A Godly Woman

This past weekend, there was a story in the State Journal-Register's religion section on a new book, co-authored by a woman from Peoria. You can read the full article here; the gist of the book, however, is about housewives that are "Desperate for God". The authors are trying to dispell the image of housewives put forth by shows such as Desperate Housewives; rather, they are promoting the image of a biblical woman and what she should look like instead.

Not surprising to me, the women that co-authored this book are both stay-at-home moms. They have at least 8 children apiece, all of which are home-schooled. However, they go so far as to say that women, especially single women, should stay in the home. Single women should pretty much live at home with their parents until they are married, and they shouldn’t be working outside of the house.

Also not surprising, they used many of the Scripture references that are often used in instances like this; ones that say that women are supposed to be submissive to their husbands, the husband is the head of the household, etc.

I get so tired of the idea that women are supposed to be at home, taking care of the husband and children, and that’s their only roles in life. I feel sorry for those women who have no identity of their own outside of being a wife and mother. When working at the daycare, it was clear which moms had their own identities and which moms had lost themselves. The simple litmus test was when the parents buzzed in to the center. Some parents, like my friend Julie, would simply say “It’s Julie” when we answered the door. Others would always respond “It’s Foster’s mom”. That right there was a clear indication on how they saw themselves.

When I get married, and yes, that’s a when – I’m in an optimistic mood tonight, I do want to be a good, Godly wife. However, I don’t believe that that means blindly submitting to my husband. That verse was written in a different time period, when women were treated like property, not wives. I also believe that it has been twisted over the years, giving men who were abusive a “biblical” reason to be so.

I don’t see why I can’t be a good, Godly wife who works as well. Why does it have to be so black and white? I know many women who work outside of the home, and I don’t think that they are bad parents or wives because of it. Just the opposite, in fact; it makes them better.

I always say that my ideal job is to be a “housewife”. But not like the women that authored the book. I would love to be a housewife in the vein of Emily Gilmore, of the TV show The Gilmore Girls. She graduated from college with a degree, then got married and became a housewife instead. However, her days are fuller than any “working” person out there. She is constantly giving of her time and money, volunteering in many charitable organizations and chairing fundraising drives galore. If I were to get married to someone who made it possible for me not to have to work, where I could just use my time and talents to work for God’s kingdom, how much more would I be able to do?? I am constantly wishing that I had more time for things. Camp takes up much of my time as it is, but I would love to be able to do more at the camp than I already do. The fundraising events I could work on, the charitable organizations I could support with my time and talents, the work of the church, inside the local church walls and outside, that I could support…..to think of being able to work because I wanted to, not because I needed to for a paycheck!!!

As a single woman right now, however, I am horrified at the idea that I should be sitting at home, basically waiting to start my life until I get married. Why should I not work, buy a house, go on vacation, and basically live my life, just because I am not married?? That’s ridiculous!!! Living on my own hasn’t made me a more ungodly woman. I also ask the question: What if I am never married? What if that’s the path that God has intended for me? Am I supposed to live at home until my parents die? Then what?? Move in with other family?

Any other thoughts on this??