Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.
- W.B. Yeats
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
the red earth of Tara
This past weekend was filled with hiking through two different state parks in Illinois. It was perfect. The air was crisp and cool, but not too cold; the leaves were starting to change color; the openess and freedom of the outdoors was beckoning.
Saturday, at Siloam Springs State Park near Griggsville/Pittsfield, we took a canoe out into the middle of the lake and just sat, enjoying the spectacular views of nature around us. After attempting to climb a rock cliff, falling down a ravine and being hit by falling rocks, we left the state park, stopping in Griggsville for some food.
Griggsville was hosting one of the starting points for the annual Pike County Fall Color Drive. Unfortuately for Pike County, the colors aren't out in full force yet; however, that didn't dampen the excitement and enthusiasm of the locals who were hosting a mini-town festival in conjunction with the Fall Color Drive.
One of the things I miss now living in Springfield is your typical small town festival. As we walked around the booths offering everything from candles to "country folk art", it reminded me of the small town festivals I went to in Ashland growing up. Getting a ribeye steak sandwich with barbeque sauce at the FFA tent just make it that much more nostalgic. (And picking up a giant bag of kettle korn made it a more gastro-exciting day!)
The nostalgia for the old days didn't really sink in, however, until Sunday, when we went out to Site M, or the Jim Edgar Panther Creek State Fish and Wildlife Area, as it's now known. (See why the locals still call it Site M?) Site M is a 26 mile-square tract of land that consists of 6,000 acres of timberland and 4,200 acres of prime farmland and rolling hill prairie for prairie grass conservation. This massive conservation initiative is mere 10 minute drive from my parents' house; turning onto the road leading to Site M included directions such as "ok, now turn right at Alicia Rogers' house". Walking through the open areas and the dense forests, passing campgrounds that I have camped at numerous times, seeing farmers in the fields cutting beans, the nostalgia for small-town life hit me again.
At the end of the day, when the sun began to set, the view of a million colors painting the sky, covered with a soft haze of dirt stirred up by the combines in the fields, was truly breathtaking. I don't get to see that living here in Springfield. And I wonder if all the conviences of living in the city is worth it in the end. For all the perks, what have I given up?
The outdoors and country atmosphere is part of who I am. It's nice to get my batteries recharged by nature and the open country air once in a while.
'You get your strength from this red earth of Tara. You're part of it, and it's part of you.' - Rhett Butler, Gone With the Wind
Saturday, at Siloam Springs State Park near Griggsville/Pittsfield, we took a canoe out into the middle of the lake and just sat, enjoying the spectacular views of nature around us. After attempting to climb a rock cliff, falling down a ravine and being hit by falling rocks, we left the state park, stopping in Griggsville for some food.
Griggsville was hosting one of the starting points for the annual Pike County Fall Color Drive. Unfortuately for Pike County, the colors aren't out in full force yet; however, that didn't dampen the excitement and enthusiasm of the locals who were hosting a mini-town festival in conjunction with the Fall Color Drive.
One of the things I miss now living in Springfield is your typical small town festival. As we walked around the booths offering everything from candles to "country folk art", it reminded me of the small town festivals I went to in Ashland growing up. Getting a ribeye steak sandwich with barbeque sauce at the FFA tent just make it that much more nostalgic. (And picking up a giant bag of kettle korn made it a more gastro-exciting day!)
The nostalgia for the old days didn't really sink in, however, until Sunday, when we went out to Site M, or the Jim Edgar Panther Creek State Fish and Wildlife Area, as it's now known. (See why the locals still call it Site M?) Site M is a 26 mile-square tract of land that consists of 6,000 acres of timberland and 4,200 acres of prime farmland and rolling hill prairie for prairie grass conservation. This massive conservation initiative is mere 10 minute drive from my parents' house; turning onto the road leading to Site M included directions such as "ok, now turn right at Alicia Rogers' house". Walking through the open areas and the dense forests, passing campgrounds that I have camped at numerous times, seeing farmers in the fields cutting beans, the nostalgia for small-town life hit me again.
At the end of the day, when the sun began to set, the view of a million colors painting the sky, covered with a soft haze of dirt stirred up by the combines in the fields, was truly breathtaking. I don't get to see that living here in Springfield. And I wonder if all the conviences of living in the city is worth it in the end. For all the perks, what have I given up?
The outdoors and country atmosphere is part of who I am. It's nice to get my batteries recharged by nature and the open country air once in a while.
'You get your strength from this red earth of Tara. You're part of it, and it's part of you.' - Rhett Butler, Gone With the Wind
Saturday, October 11, 2008
bored - babysitting and kids are sleeping
33 Little Secrets
Be honest no matter what...
1: Who are your last 4 texts from? April, Mandy, Laura, Sarah Liz
2: Where was your default picture taken? The pic on my blog - me kissing the Blarney Stone in Ireland!
3: What's your middle name? Lynette
4: Whats your current favorite color? Green
5: Does your crush like you back? nope :(
6: What is your current mood? tired, bored, and I have a killer headache
7: When is your birthday? July 14
8: What color shirt are you wearing? blue Superman shirt from Metropolis, IL
9: If you were going on a Reality TV show, which one would it be? Survivor!!! :)
10: Did you ever sneak into an R rated movie? didn't have to
11: Ever had a near death experience? yes, almost decaptiated in car accident in '99
12: Something you do a lot? work, text, shop
13: How old will you be in 12 months? 33
14: Do you want to see somebody right now? Sure do
15: How many piercings? none - my earrings ripped out when I was in high school
16: When was the last time you cried? Wednesday
17: Who would you do anything for? the kids
18: Who is your hero? I have to answer...Charissa Holland!
19: American Pie or Superbad? neither, they are both stupid
20: What's your biggest fear? being alone
21: Would you ever take one of your ex's back? I always say, they are ex for a reason
22: What are you going to do tonight? babysitting the Trimmer kids
23: What was the first thing you said this morning? Called Mandy
24: Speak any other languages? French, and can sign some
25: Whats your favorite smell? Irish peat moss, babies, the fabulous turkey I make with a cloves and nutmeg rub
26: Do you like to sleep naked? only in the summer when it's really hot
27: Do you like rain? I love rain!! :)
28: What are you thinking about right now? Trying to figure out what caused this knot on the back of my head.......and hoping that baby Cameron doesn't wake up again!
29: What did your last outgoing text say? Are you still in line?
30: What are you listening to? Lucas coughing
31: Who was the last person you yelled at? um....I don't remember, I'm not really a yeller
32: who is the last person you said 'i love you' to? Lucas
33: Who last made you smile? Have to go with Lucas again, the kid cracks me up!!!
Be honest no matter what...
1: Who are your last 4 texts from? April, Mandy, Laura, Sarah Liz
2: Where was your default picture taken? The pic on my blog - me kissing the Blarney Stone in Ireland!
3: What's your middle name? Lynette
4: Whats your current favorite color? Green
5: Does your crush like you back? nope :(
6: What is your current mood? tired, bored, and I have a killer headache
7: When is your birthday? July 14
8: What color shirt are you wearing? blue Superman shirt from Metropolis, IL
9: If you were going on a Reality TV show, which one would it be? Survivor!!! :)
10: Did you ever sneak into an R rated movie? didn't have to
11: Ever had a near death experience? yes, almost decaptiated in car accident in '99
12: Something you do a lot? work, text, shop
13: How old will you be in 12 months? 33
14: Do you want to see somebody right now? Sure do
15: How many piercings? none - my earrings ripped out when I was in high school
16: When was the last time you cried? Wednesday
17: Who would you do anything for? the kids
18: Who is your hero? I have to answer...Charissa Holland!
19: American Pie or Superbad? neither, they are both stupid
20: What's your biggest fear? being alone
21: Would you ever take one of your ex's back? I always say, they are ex for a reason
22: What are you going to do tonight? babysitting the Trimmer kids
23: What was the first thing you said this morning? Called Mandy
24: Speak any other languages? French, and can sign some
25: Whats your favorite smell? Irish peat moss, babies, the fabulous turkey I make with a cloves and nutmeg rub
26: Do you like to sleep naked? only in the summer when it's really hot
27: Do you like rain? I love rain!! :)
28: What are you thinking about right now? Trying to figure out what caused this knot on the back of my head.......and hoping that baby Cameron doesn't wake up again!
29: What did your last outgoing text say? Are you still in line?
30: What are you listening to? Lucas coughing
31: Who was the last person you yelled at? um....I don't remember, I'm not really a yeller
32: who is the last person you said 'i love you' to? Lucas
33: Who last made you smile? Have to go with Lucas again, the kid cracks me up!!!
quote of the month
"Don't let someone become your priority, when you're only his option."
I don't know where this came from (I saw it on Krista Walbert's facebook, I believe). I did a Google search, and no one out there knows its origin.
I love this quote. It totally fits my situation right now, and I'm not going to do it any longer!
Why are men so frustrating and clueless????
I don't know where this came from (I saw it on Krista Walbert's facebook, I believe). I did a Google search, and no one out there knows its origin.
I love this quote. It totally fits my situation right now, and I'm not going to do it any longer!
Why are men so frustrating and clueless????
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
sleeping beauty - why prince phillip rocks
Yesterday, the 5oth anniversary edition of Sleeping Beauty was released. I hadn't watched it in a while, but as I watched it last night, it totally reminded me how much I love that movie and why Prince Phillip is my favorite prince.
So, in honor of this, here's a list from retrojunk.com on why Prince Phillip rocks.
Pro: For starters he was the first Disney Prince with a name. Also extremely decisive; after meeting a girl in a forest and spending a record-breaking period of five minutes dancing with her he returned home declaring his intentions to annul his long-standing betrothal with the neighbor’s daughter in order to marry the girl he just met. Obviously a man of action. No shirk in the physical department either. Was ambushed in said maiden’s house without any weapons by superior numbers but managed to get in numerous good blows before going down. After being imprisoned in a powerful enchantress’s fortress, he escaped with only the help of a trio of fairies, fought his way through dozens of her minions and rode across a collapsing bridge to rescue his girl. He then had to slash through an entire forest of thorns to access her palace, (which took him all of about twenty seconds) and finally had to battle the enchantress herself, who morphed into a forty-foot dragon. Despite being seemingly outmatched, he fought her to a standstill and finally killed her by throwing his sword into her heart and still made it back in time to wake the princess.
On the other hand: He still lives with his parents.
Songs: Just one, and only a short duet with Aurora.
His woman: Princess Aurora; the Sleeping Beauty. Having been betrothed to her since he was eight, Philip was pretty much destined to get her, but boy did he have his work cut out for him (see Pro list).
Companions: His horse Sampson, (a truly manly name, even for a horse) the worlds most invincible steed. Able to stride through great flaming forests of thorns without acquiring so much as a scratch in his leathery flanks, and might be the only Disney animal who ever needed to be bribed in order to help his master look for the princess.
_____
If you need another reason to love Prince Phillip....check out David Beckham's photo shoot with Annie Leibowitz as Prince Phillip.......all I can say is WOW!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
myths of christian dating
so, I found this article rather interesting the other day. It's "The Top 5 Myths of Christian Dating". You can read the whole thing by clicking this link: http://www.christianitytoday.com/singles/newsletter/2008/mind0618.html
While the whole article is good, there is one part I found particularly intriguing:
Myth #4: "You have to be friends with a woman before you can date her."
This is the point where I might tick off some of you, so allow me to assuage your anger before I explain this myth. I am not saying that you cannot or should not be friends before dating. I'm also not talking about a man and a woman who are interested in each other and agree to be friends for a period before dating. Some of the most successful relationships begin in friendship. Sometimes you don't even know you want to date someone until you're friends with her. I've met couples who were friends for years and then fell in love. It's a super way to start a relationship.
The problem is that a lot of men think the best way to pursue a woman is to befriend her while hiding their interest in dating her. This is a rotten idea and sets a lot of men up for trouble.
Tommy was a client of mine who tried this approach. He had been interested in a woman at his church for a few months, but he was terrified of rejection. So he made his best effort to become her friend, never letting on that he wanted to be her boyfriend. He gave her rides to church, had coffee with her, and talked to her on the phone two or three times a week. Whenever she needed help or support, Tommy was there. But he never asked her out. Then another man in the church asked her out, and she accepted. When she shared the news with Tommy, he was devastated. He told her about his true feelings, and she was shocked. She was hurt that he didn't tell her sooner and expressed regret that he'd never asked her out. However, she refused to back out of the date with the other guy. It proved the end of their friendship, and Tommy retreated into frustration and despair.
You have to be honest about what you're doing. Don't kid yourself and don't lie to her. Be friends all you want, but if you want to date her, she needs to know and you need to ask her out.
Some people distinguish "dating" from "friendship" based on one thing: physical intimacy. More specifically, kissing. A man and a woman who are interested in each other remain "friends" by going out only on group dates and refraining from intimate contact of any description. Apparently, this means they aren't dating.
Whatever.
Friendship and dating are categorically different. Of course, you must be friends with the person you date, but there's much more to it. The emotional "heat" that occurs between people in a romantic relationship is both more exhilarating and more complicated than friendship. People have higher expectations for someone they're considering for marriage. Friendship cannot contain the emotions, intensity, and intimacy that dating does. If you and a woman are hot for each other, you aren't "just friends." I don't care if you go out on dates alone or with the whole church choir. It also doesn't matter if you wear a HAZMAT suit and stay ten feet away from her at all times. If romance is the goal of a man and woman's relationship, they are dating. Confuse it with friendship at your peril.
I'd love to hear other thoughts on this. It goes back to the basic theme of When Harry Met Sally. I believe that guys and girls can be friends. I have a lot of guy friends, ones that I would never think of in any other way but as a friend. But when a "guy friend" does things that start to blur that line, with or without the physical intimacy, it just creates a very confusing and frustrating situation. And I think I am getting to the point in my life where I don't want to deal with the confusion any longer. Either be my friend, or date me, but make it clear. Don't say one thing, then act another way. If that means I have to end a "friendship", I may just have to do that. It's not good on my emotional well-being to be jerked around all the time.
So the bottom line...can you just be friends with someone you are interested in dating?
While the whole article is good, there is one part I found particularly intriguing:
Myth #4: "You have to be friends with a woman before you can date her."
This is the point where I might tick off some of you, so allow me to assuage your anger before I explain this myth. I am not saying that you cannot or should not be friends before dating. I'm also not talking about a man and a woman who are interested in each other and agree to be friends for a period before dating. Some of the most successful relationships begin in friendship. Sometimes you don't even know you want to date someone until you're friends with her. I've met couples who were friends for years and then fell in love. It's a super way to start a relationship.
The problem is that a lot of men think the best way to pursue a woman is to befriend her while hiding their interest in dating her. This is a rotten idea and sets a lot of men up for trouble.
Tommy was a client of mine who tried this approach. He had been interested in a woman at his church for a few months, but he was terrified of rejection. So he made his best effort to become her friend, never letting on that he wanted to be her boyfriend. He gave her rides to church, had coffee with her, and talked to her on the phone two or three times a week. Whenever she needed help or support, Tommy was there. But he never asked her out. Then another man in the church asked her out, and she accepted. When she shared the news with Tommy, he was devastated. He told her about his true feelings, and she was shocked. She was hurt that he didn't tell her sooner and expressed regret that he'd never asked her out. However, she refused to back out of the date with the other guy. It proved the end of their friendship, and Tommy retreated into frustration and despair.
You have to be honest about what you're doing. Don't kid yourself and don't lie to her. Be friends all you want, but if you want to date her, she needs to know and you need to ask her out.
Some people distinguish "dating" from "friendship" based on one thing: physical intimacy. More specifically, kissing. A man and a woman who are interested in each other remain "friends" by going out only on group dates and refraining from intimate contact of any description. Apparently, this means they aren't dating.
Whatever.
Friendship and dating are categorically different. Of course, you must be friends with the person you date, but there's much more to it. The emotional "heat" that occurs between people in a romantic relationship is both more exhilarating and more complicated than friendship. People have higher expectations for someone they're considering for marriage. Friendship cannot contain the emotions, intensity, and intimacy that dating does. If you and a woman are hot for each other, you aren't "just friends." I don't care if you go out on dates alone or with the whole church choir. It also doesn't matter if you wear a HAZMAT suit and stay ten feet away from her at all times. If romance is the goal of a man and woman's relationship, they are dating. Confuse it with friendship at your peril.
I'd love to hear other thoughts on this. It goes back to the basic theme of When Harry Met Sally. I believe that guys and girls can be friends. I have a lot of guy friends, ones that I would never think of in any other way but as a friend. But when a "guy friend" does things that start to blur that line, with or without the physical intimacy, it just creates a very confusing and frustrating situation. And I think I am getting to the point in my life where I don't want to deal with the confusion any longer. Either be my friend, or date me, but make it clear. Don't say one thing, then act another way. If that means I have to end a "friendship", I may just have to do that. It's not good on my emotional well-being to be jerked around all the time.
So the bottom line...can you just be friends with someone you are interested in dating?
Friday, August 22, 2008
life update 8.22
I think I have used the work "suck" so much lately that it has begun to lose all meaning.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
random question time
1. Who do you blame for your mood today? stupid boys
2. Have you ever seen a dead body? Yeah. I covered a murder scene once of the paper, the guy had been shot in the head, and his brains were dripping everywhere. It was gross.
3. What should we do with stupid people? shoot them all. I can't handle stupid people.
4. How long do you think you will live? According to the Death Clock, I will die on July 8, 2030.
5. What was the first thing you did this morning? Hit the snooze button, then watched the news.
6. The color of carpet in your bedroom? A blue-ish/gray speckled thing.
7. Last person you went out to dinner with? Aaron and Bob
8. Are you spoiled? nope
9. Do you drink lots of water? in the summer I do, I dehydrate easy.
10. Is your best friend a virgin? I hope not, she's married!!
11. When was the last time you were at a party? Went to a barbeque a couple of weeks ago.
12. The last website you visited? Lucas Trimmer's blog.
13. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Andrea Pembrook at camp!!
14. Last person you went to the movies with? I believe it was my sister.
15. What did you do/will you do for your birthday this year? I made dinner for the fam, then to Chili's to eat a boob sundae complements of Bob Reynolds.
16. Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week? Go forward..this last week sucked!
17. Would you use your normal vocabulary if Jesus were standing beside you (in the flesh)? Of course...He hears what I'm saying all the time anyway, why change it?
18. Do you know where the red fern grows? yes I do.
19. What's the last cartoon you watched? Does Wall-E count?
20. If someone gave you spinners for your wheels, would you use them? no thanks, I'm not a gangster girl.
21. Do you like the shape of your fingernails? They are weird, they curl down, but I like it.
22. Pretend you're single, If you had to marry a famous musician, who would it be? Hmm....Bono. Seriously...the man's a stud.
23. What room/position are you usually in when you watch TV? Curled up in my big oversized chair in the living room.
24. Do you put salt on your watermelon? I put salt on everything. Seriously.
25. Do you get sick easily? Nope...I have a super-immunity thanks to years of daycare work!
26. Where was the biggest bruise you've ever had and how did you get it? Bruised legs after car accident
27. What do you eat on your hotdogs? ketchup
28. Are you good at hiding your feelings? yes, do it all the time
29. Can you braid hair? yes, do it all the time
30. Do you drink Red Bull or any other energy drink on a regular basis? never. that would kill me!! :)
31. How old will you be in seven months? still 32.
32. What is the relationship between you and the last person who called you? Jeanette...my friend.
33. Would you like to let go of the past? always
34. How many people have you kissed with a name that starts with a "J"? none
35. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? chocolate...regular is gross
36. What color are the pants your wearing? not wearing pants...wearing skirt!
37. Have you ever taken medications that were prescribed to someone else? yeah, but it was because I had run out of my own!
38. Do you have a dirty mind? yeah...makes me a good copy editor!
39. Are you usually the first to say sorry when you're in a fight, or the last? depends
40. Do you like the smell of gasoline? no...that would be weird.
2. Have you ever seen a dead body? Yeah. I covered a murder scene once of the paper, the guy had been shot in the head, and his brains were dripping everywhere. It was gross.
3. What should we do with stupid people? shoot them all. I can't handle stupid people.
4. How long do you think you will live? According to the Death Clock, I will die on July 8, 2030.
5. What was the first thing you did this morning? Hit the snooze button, then watched the news.
6. The color of carpet in your bedroom? A blue-ish/gray speckled thing.
7. Last person you went out to dinner with? Aaron and Bob
8. Are you spoiled? nope
9. Do you drink lots of water? in the summer I do, I dehydrate easy.
10. Is your best friend a virgin? I hope not, she's married!!
11. When was the last time you were at a party? Went to a barbeque a couple of weeks ago.
12. The last website you visited? Lucas Trimmer's blog.
13. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Andrea Pembrook at camp!!
14. Last person you went to the movies with? I believe it was my sister.
15. What did you do/will you do for your birthday this year? I made dinner for the fam, then to Chili's to eat a boob sundae complements of Bob Reynolds.
16. Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week? Go forward..this last week sucked!
17. Would you use your normal vocabulary if Jesus were standing beside you (in the flesh)? Of course...He hears what I'm saying all the time anyway, why change it?
18. Do you know where the red fern grows? yes I do.
19. What's the last cartoon you watched? Does Wall-E count?
20. If someone gave you spinners for your wheels, would you use them? no thanks, I'm not a gangster girl.
21. Do you like the shape of your fingernails? They are weird, they curl down, but I like it.
22. Pretend you're single, If you had to marry a famous musician, who would it be? Hmm....Bono. Seriously...the man's a stud.
23. What room/position are you usually in when you watch TV? Curled up in my big oversized chair in the living room.
24. Do you put salt on your watermelon? I put salt on everything. Seriously.
25. Do you get sick easily? Nope...I have a super-immunity thanks to years of daycare work!
26. Where was the biggest bruise you've ever had and how did you get it? Bruised legs after car accident
27. What do you eat on your hotdogs? ketchup
28. Are you good at hiding your feelings? yes, do it all the time
29. Can you braid hair? yes, do it all the time
30. Do you drink Red Bull or any other energy drink on a regular basis? never. that would kill me!! :)
31. How old will you be in seven months? still 32.
32. What is the relationship between you and the last person who called you? Jeanette...my friend.
33. Would you like to let go of the past? always
34. How many people have you kissed with a name that starts with a "J"? none
35. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? chocolate...regular is gross
36. What color are the pants your wearing? not wearing pants...wearing skirt!
37. Have you ever taken medications that were prescribed to someone else? yeah, but it was because I had run out of my own!
38. Do you have a dirty mind? yeah...makes me a good copy editor!
39. Are you usually the first to say sorry when you're in a fight, or the last? depends
40. Do you like the smell of gasoline? no...that would be weird.
Friday, August 1, 2008
giant pandas
For those that know me well, you know I have a bit of an obsession with giant pandas. It began when I was a baby, when my dad used to called me 'Miranda Panda" because it rhymed and it made me laugh when he said it. Well, that got shortened to just Panda, or Panda girl, which I apparently used to my advantage as a preschooler. My mom has tons of stories of me wanting something, my dad saying no, then I would "cry" and look at him very mournfully and say, "But I'm your Panda girl", which always pushed him over the edge. Unfortunately for me, it's doesn't quite work anymore (trust me, I've tried).
This week is China week on the Travel Channel, in honor of the upcoming Olympic Games. One of my dreams has always been to travel to China and see the giant pandas at the giant panda reserve.
Last night, Samantha Brown did a show on Sichuan province, where the Cohen Giant Panda Breeding Research Foundation is located in a village called Chengdu. It rocked. Come to find out, not only is it open to the public, but for an extra $200, you can get the "backstage" tour, where you actually get to see baby pandas in their incubators that have just been born and get to play with the cubs outside in the cub habitat. I could actually play with real live giant panda cubs. For just a bit more (like $125), you can even hold one to get your picture taken and cuddle and such.
Anyone want to go to China with me?
This week is China week on the Travel Channel, in honor of the upcoming Olympic Games. One of my dreams has always been to travel to China and see the giant pandas at the giant panda reserve.
Last night, Samantha Brown did a show on Sichuan province, where the Cohen Giant Panda Breeding Research Foundation is located in a village called Chengdu. It rocked. Come to find out, not only is it open to the public, but for an extra $200, you can get the "backstage" tour, where you actually get to see baby pandas in their incubators that have just been born and get to play with the cubs outside in the cub habitat. I could actually play with real live giant panda cubs. For just a bit more (like $125), you can even hold one to get your picture taken and cuddle and such.
Anyone want to go to China with me?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
the last lecture
Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnagie Mellon University, passed away this morning from pancreatic cancer. He's well known for an amazing speech he gave at the college, and has given other places, known as the Last Lecture. It's phenomenal. Check it out. (Warning: it's about an hour and a half long).
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
my match
For my birthday last week, I received a subscription to Match.com, the dating website. Unlike e-harmony or any of those others, Match.com lets you put in what you are looking for, and then searches exactly within your parameters for matches. You can show interest by "winking" at a person, or just send them an email through their in-house message system (so personal information is not revealed).
I have been signed up for about 10 days now. Here are some things I have observed so far in my brief foray into the world of online dating:
1. Creepy, desperate, unattractive guys will descend on a new person like a duck on a June bug. In the few short days I have been on, I have been "winked" at by 30 different guys. Of the 30, I have already hit the "no thanks, not interested" button on all 30 of them. If Darwin was on Match.com, he'd have a field day with some of these people. It's really that scary.
2. What frustrates me the most is that they don't even seem to read the profile. I list that I am looking for someone is a specific age range, then get "winks" from guys who are definitely not in that age range. (Does the 52-year-old guy think..'well, she put a range that I am way too old for, and I'm scary looking, but maybe she'll overlook all that'?) Or they live in NYC. Or they don't fit another one of my parameters that are rather important to me, such as size, religion, etc.
3. I received an email the other day from someone. The misspellings in this were astronomical. To me, it's simple. You are trying to impress me. Why send an email full of misspelled words? One of my biggest pet peeves in life to begin with is people that can't spell. Sending me an email full of misspelled words is the quickest way for me to hit the "reject" button. (Charissa Holland, I expect you to back me up on this one!)
The most frustrating/perplexing/odd/fascinating thing about this whole experience so far is that when I joined, it was at the prompting of a friend, who urged me to do it to get my mind off of a stupid boy that had broke my heart. But, when I hit the "my matches" button, guess who was number five on the list? The boy. I didn't even know he had a profile on there. But there he was....and the computer matched us up. (See...Billy Idol even gets it...why can't he?)
So what does this all mean? I'm not quite sure yet. I guess we'll see what happens......
....to be continued.
I have been signed up for about 10 days now. Here are some things I have observed so far in my brief foray into the world of online dating:
1. Creepy, desperate, unattractive guys will descend on a new person like a duck on a June bug. In the few short days I have been on, I have been "winked" at by 30 different guys. Of the 30, I have already hit the "no thanks, not interested" button on all 30 of them. If Darwin was on Match.com, he'd have a field day with some of these people. It's really that scary.
2. What frustrates me the most is that they don't even seem to read the profile. I list that I am looking for someone is a specific age range, then get "winks" from guys who are definitely not in that age range. (Does the 52-year-old guy think..'well, she put a range that I am way too old for, and I'm scary looking, but maybe she'll overlook all that'?) Or they live in NYC. Or they don't fit another one of my parameters that are rather important to me, such as size, religion, etc.
3. I received an email the other day from someone. The misspellings in this were astronomical. To me, it's simple. You are trying to impress me. Why send an email full of misspelled words? One of my biggest pet peeves in life to begin with is people that can't spell. Sending me an email full of misspelled words is the quickest way for me to hit the "reject" button. (Charissa Holland, I expect you to back me up on this one!)
The most frustrating/perplexing/odd/fascinating thing about this whole experience so far is that when I joined, it was at the prompting of a friend, who urged me to do it to get my mind off of a stupid boy that had broke my heart. But, when I hit the "my matches" button, guess who was number five on the list? The boy. I didn't even know he had a profile on there. But there he was....and the computer matched us up. (See...Billy Idol even gets it...why can't he?)
So what does this all mean? I'm not quite sure yet. I guess we'll see what happens......
....to be continued.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
for no one
I hate* you.
I hate that you can make me feel this way.
I hate that you preoccupy my thoughts.
I hate that you either don't see or don't care how you affect me.
I hate that you act one way and later say something completely different.
I hate* you.
(*or is it love?)
I hate that you can make me feel this way.
I hate that you preoccupy my thoughts.
I hate that you either don't see or don't care how you affect me.
I hate that you act one way and later say something completely different.
I hate* you.
(*or is it love?)
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
turning 32
My birthday is in 12 days. I'm going to be 32. For several reasons, this year I am not looking forward to it. Normally, I like birthdays. Not this year.
When I turned 30, I thought it was going to be hard, and it was a bit. But, I had a big "kid" party out at the park and invited all my kids, so it was good fun.
When I turned 31, I didn't even care. I left for Ireland the next day, and was so focused on the trip stuff that I didn't even have time to worry about turning 31.
But now, I'm 32. Nothing exciting is happening this year. I'm well established in my 30s now. But, what do I have to show for it? I graduated from college 10 years ago, and watched friends get married, have kids, etc., while I stayed single, with no hopes for getting married soon. Now, 10 years later....still watching friends get married, have kids, etc., and I'm still single with no hopes for getting married soon. While the idea of that didn't bother me when I was 22, at 32, it's much harder to handle. All I have found in the last 10 years is heartbreak and headaches, and the realization that everyone leaves me at some point because there's always someone that's "-er", i.e. smarter, prettier, taller, thinner, funnier, stronger, weaker, etc.
And quite frankly, I'm getting tired of it all. I'm tired of waiting for "life to begin". I'm tired of watching all of my friends do things that I long to do and haven't yet. I want to get married, have kids, have an "adult" life...not this one.
I am not looking forward to being 32. Who knew 32 would be the hardest one so far?
When I turned 30, I thought it was going to be hard, and it was a bit. But, I had a big "kid" party out at the park and invited all my kids, so it was good fun.
When I turned 31, I didn't even care. I left for Ireland the next day, and was so focused on the trip stuff that I didn't even have time to worry about turning 31.
But now, I'm 32. Nothing exciting is happening this year. I'm well established in my 30s now. But, what do I have to show for it? I graduated from college 10 years ago, and watched friends get married, have kids, etc., while I stayed single, with no hopes for getting married soon. Now, 10 years later....still watching friends get married, have kids, etc., and I'm still single with no hopes for getting married soon. While the idea of that didn't bother me when I was 22, at 32, it's much harder to handle. All I have found in the last 10 years is heartbreak and headaches, and the realization that everyone leaves me at some point because there's always someone that's "-er", i.e. smarter, prettier, taller, thinner, funnier, stronger, weaker, etc.
And quite frankly, I'm getting tired of it all. I'm tired of waiting for "life to begin". I'm tired of watching all of my friends do things that I long to do and haven't yet. I want to get married, have kids, have an "adult" life...not this one.
I am not looking forward to being 32. Who knew 32 would be the hardest one so far?
Friday, June 20, 2008
random questions
1 - Let me guess.. you are bored right?
um... yeah.
2- What were you doing at 7:00 AM?
Watching Good Morning America and thinking how hot Chris Cuomo is.
3 - Kiss with your eyes open or closed? Depends
4 - If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a mistake what would u pick? $1 million. Then I can fix my mistakes!
5 - Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you talk to 24/7? Yeah...some of my best friends are guys
6 - Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? A few people, it would make my life much easier!
7 - Is there anything you are looking forward to within the next few days? CAMP ON SUNDAY!
8 - What were you doing 1 hour ago? Working on the Guidebook.
9 - Do you currently have feelings for someone? yes
10 - What was the last thing you said aloud? I coughed really hard..is that a word?
11 - How many different things did you drink today? Earl Grey (decaf), tomato juice, Sprite
12 - Are you ticklish? yes..not telling you where though. I'm not THAT stupid!
13 - Is success in your future? I hope so. But really, who says, "No, I'd like to be a failure!"?
14 - Are you a heavy sleeper? Very...I slept through my house burning down when I was little.
15 - Was today a good day? so far...
16 - Was last night a good night? I guess.
17- Does someone like you right now? yes ;)
18 - Where is the last place you went? Subway
19- Name something that made you frown today? My chest has been hurting today. Stress!
20 - Who is the last person you had a deep meaningful conversation with? Amanda Kurmann
21 - Can you keep a secret? sure
22 - Your favorite romantic movie? Gone With the Wind/Pride & Prejudice (BBC version w/Colin Firth)
23- Have you ever played naked twister? no...who really does that?
24 - Is there something you will never forget? Lots of things....like Dad's stories on the way home from Metropolis last weekend. I couldn't forget those if you paid me. You can't poke out the mind's eye!
26 - How is your hair? ok...needs the roots done, though
27- First thing you notice of the opposite sex? Physique - I like a guy who looks like he can kick someone's butt - I need the security!
28 - Who was the last person you took a picture with? Superman!!!
29 - What were you doing at midnight last night? Wondering why Philip was texting me about pasta at that time and why on earth he was awake then!
30 - Do you wish on 11:11? no
31 - What's on your mind? Camp stress!
32 - Which shoe do you put on first? left usually
33 - Favorite color(s)? green
34 - Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a C? Clayton Kurmann, Carter Formea, Connor Goebel.
35 - Last thing received in the mail? My order from Oriental Trading! Princess crowns!
36 - Do you have trust issues? Big time
37 - Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them? not really
38 - Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Sure - I believe it was the aforementioned Clayton Kurmann
39 - Have you ever hurt anyone when you were mad? yes
40 - Is it easier to forgive or forget? I have trouble with both
41 - Are you random? I like to think of it as quirky
42 - Do you laugh a lot? I try to!
43 - Are you happy with that? huh?
44 - Do you believe in love at first sight? yes
45 - Do you want kids? yes
46 - If someone liked you right now would you want them to tell you? yes!
47 - How do you feel about being the age you are? eh...my birthday is in a few weeks, ask me then
48 - Are you watching tv as you are doing this survey? nope
49 - Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries? sure
50 - Do you believe you can change for someone? sure, if you really want to
51 - Something you dislike? incompetence
52 - Do you want to get married? yes
53 - Big or Small wedding? big
54 - What do you want to be in 15 years? dead - I plan on dying while still young and beautiful in some tragic way so I'll have a large turnout for my funeral (and maybe even get a Lifetime movie made about me)
55 - Do you get along with your parents? sometimes
56 - Brothers or sisters? sister - yes, brothers - Brad, yes, Sean, heck no
57 - Who is your hero? Charissa Holland (I couldn't resist it!)
58 - Do you have your own room? uh...yeah....I'm 31, if I don't by now, that's really sad
59 - What do you think about the current gas prices? They don't bother me. I paid $7/gallon while in England last summer. I can't complain about $4!
um... yeah.
2- What were you doing at 7:00 AM?
Watching Good Morning America and thinking how hot Chris Cuomo is.
3 - Kiss with your eyes open or closed? Depends
4 - If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a mistake what would u pick? $1 million. Then I can fix my mistakes!
5 - Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you talk to 24/7? Yeah...some of my best friends are guys
6 - Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? A few people, it would make my life much easier!
7 - Is there anything you are looking forward to within the next few days? CAMP ON SUNDAY!
8 - What were you doing 1 hour ago? Working on the Guidebook.
9 - Do you currently have feelings for someone? yes
10 - What was the last thing you said aloud? I coughed really hard..is that a word?
11 - How many different things did you drink today? Earl Grey (decaf), tomato juice, Sprite
12 - Are you ticklish? yes..not telling you where though. I'm not THAT stupid!
13 - Is success in your future? I hope so. But really, who says, "No, I'd like to be a failure!"?
14 - Are you a heavy sleeper? Very...I slept through my house burning down when I was little.
15 - Was today a good day? so far...
16 - Was last night a good night? I guess.
17- Does someone like you right now? yes ;)
18 - Where is the last place you went? Subway
19- Name something that made you frown today? My chest has been hurting today. Stress!
20 - Who is the last person you had a deep meaningful conversation with? Amanda Kurmann
21 - Can you keep a secret? sure
22 - Your favorite romantic movie? Gone With the Wind/Pride & Prejudice (BBC version w/Colin Firth)
23- Have you ever played naked twister? no...who really does that?
24 - Is there something you will never forget? Lots of things....like Dad's stories on the way home from Metropolis last weekend. I couldn't forget those if you paid me. You can't poke out the mind's eye!
26 - How is your hair? ok...needs the roots done, though
27- First thing you notice of the opposite sex? Physique - I like a guy who looks like he can kick someone's butt - I need the security!
28 - Who was the last person you took a picture with? Superman!!!
29 - What were you doing at midnight last night? Wondering why Philip was texting me about pasta at that time and why on earth he was awake then!
30 - Do you wish on 11:11? no
31 - What's on your mind? Camp stress!
32 - Which shoe do you put on first? left usually
33 - Favorite color(s)? green
34 - Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a C? Clayton Kurmann, Carter Formea, Connor Goebel.
35 - Last thing received in the mail? My order from Oriental Trading! Princess crowns!
36 - Do you have trust issues? Big time
37 - Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them? not really
38 - Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Sure - I believe it was the aforementioned Clayton Kurmann
39 - Have you ever hurt anyone when you were mad? yes
40 - Is it easier to forgive or forget? I have trouble with both
41 - Are you random? I like to think of it as quirky
42 - Do you laugh a lot? I try to!
43 - Are you happy with that? huh?
44 - Do you believe in love at first sight? yes
45 - Do you want kids? yes
46 - If someone liked you right now would you want them to tell you? yes!
47 - How do you feel about being the age you are? eh...my birthday is in a few weeks, ask me then
48 - Are you watching tv as you are doing this survey? nope
49 - Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries? sure
50 - Do you believe you can change for someone? sure, if you really want to
51 - Something you dislike? incompetence
52 - Do you want to get married? yes
53 - Big or Small wedding? big
54 - What do you want to be in 15 years? dead - I plan on dying while still young and beautiful in some tragic way so I'll have a large turnout for my funeral (and maybe even get a Lifetime movie made about me)
55 - Do you get along with your parents? sometimes
56 - Brothers or sisters? sister - yes, brothers - Brad, yes, Sean, heck no
57 - Who is your hero? Charissa Holland (I couldn't resist it!)
58 - Do you have your own room? uh...yeah....I'm 31, if I don't by now, that's really sad
59 - What do you think about the current gas prices? They don't bother me. I paid $7/gallon while in England last summer. I can't complain about $4!
Friday, May 23, 2008
untitled
State the obvious, I didn't get my perfect fantasy
I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine; I'll tell mine you're gay
And by the way...
I hate that stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn
- Taylor Swift
I'm goin' home, gonna load my shotgun
Wait by the door and light a cigarette
If he wants a fight well now he's got one
And he ain't seen me crazy yet
He slapped my face and he shook me like a rag doll
Don't that sound like a real man
I'm going to show him what a little girls made of
Gunpowder and lead
- Miranda Lambert
I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine; I'll tell mine you're gay
And by the way...
I hate that stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn
- Taylor Swift
I'm goin' home, gonna load my shotgun
Wait by the door and light a cigarette
If he wants a fight well now he's got one
And he ain't seen me crazy yet
He slapped my face and he shook me like a rag doll
Don't that sound like a real man
I'm going to show him what a little girls made of
Gunpowder and lead
- Miranda Lambert
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
dodging bullets
So...Saturday night. I was driving home from the camp at about 11:30 p.m. on Chatham Road, near Amber Jacks, when someone shot at me. I have a bullet hole in the windshield of my car. Luckily, it hit the passenger side, so I wasn’t hurt. Scared the hell out of me, though. Anyway, I pulled over and called 911 immediately. Cops came and filled out a report, searched the area (of course they didn’t find anyone), and then let me go home. So, now just freaked out, and waiting to see if the cops find anyone, which in all likely-hood, they will not.
I took a quiz online a few years ago that told me that I have a high likelyhood of being murdered in my lifetime, for a number of factors. One, I have long hair, which is easy for someone to grab. But the biggest one is that I am a journalist, and therefore can supposedly have access to confidential or sensitive information. I can see that, if I was working on Watergate or something. But I do agriculture and arts/entertaiment. I highly doubt my last story on Arlo Guthrie is going to get me murdered. It might, but I'm doubtful.
So, right now I'm just trying to get my nerves calmed back down, and not be scared to drive down Chatham Road (which is where I also had my car accident in January).
And, I get to come up with $100 to get my windshield replaced...although, the bullet hole is pretty wicked looking, so maybe I'll just keep it for a while. Add those fake bullet hole stickers to the rest of the car and make a new game: "Find the Real Bullet Hole!"
I took a quiz online a few years ago that told me that I have a high likelyhood of being murdered in my lifetime, for a number of factors. One, I have long hair, which is easy for someone to grab. But the biggest one is that I am a journalist, and therefore can supposedly have access to confidential or sensitive information. I can see that, if I was working on Watergate or something. But I do agriculture and arts/entertaiment. I highly doubt my last story on Arlo Guthrie is going to get me murdered. It might, but I'm doubtful.
So, right now I'm just trying to get my nerves calmed back down, and not be scared to drive down Chatham Road (which is where I also had my car accident in January).
And, I get to come up with $100 to get my windshield replaced...although, the bullet hole is pretty wicked looking, so maybe I'll just keep it for a while. Add those fake bullet hole stickers to the rest of the car and make a new game: "Find the Real Bullet Hole!"
Thursday, May 15, 2008
let's get physical
The other day, I had a conversation with a friend about the physical aspects of relationships. The physical aspect of relationships has always been something that’s been a little hard for me to deal with. (For those who know me well, know why. I’m not going to go into it all here.)
Showing affection in a physical way is a tricky thing. I have some friends that I can show affection to openly and without any reservations. And of course, there are the kids. As a preschool teacher, showing love and affection for the kids in my class was practically a job requirement. Showing affection to my kids is easy and natural. There’s nothing better than the bear hugs from Clayton or Punky kisses to make the day better.
Adults are different, especially if it’s a member of the opposite sex. I’m not one to initiate things. I am constantly tense if I am around someone that I would like to show affection to, but can’t. Showing affection can be a tricky thing. There’s always the fear of misreading intentions and signals, or outright rejection. For me, it’s always better if the other person initiates things. Then I will know that it’s safe to show affection back.
They say the human touch is a necessity of life, just as much as breathing, eating and sleeping. Studies have shown that monkeys that are deprived of touch and affection die. If I can’t breathe, I go outside to get more air; if I’m hungry, I eat something; if I am tired, I sleep. Why, then, is it so hard to give and receive the affection that I need to survive?
So let me know if you want me to show you some affection. As GI Joe says: “And knowing is half the battle.”
Showing affection in a physical way is a tricky thing. I have some friends that I can show affection to openly and without any reservations. And of course, there are the kids. As a preschool teacher, showing love and affection for the kids in my class was practically a job requirement. Showing affection to my kids is easy and natural. There’s nothing better than the bear hugs from Clayton or Punky kisses to make the day better.
Adults are different, especially if it’s a member of the opposite sex. I’m not one to initiate things. I am constantly tense if I am around someone that I would like to show affection to, but can’t. Showing affection can be a tricky thing. There’s always the fear of misreading intentions and signals, or outright rejection. For me, it’s always better if the other person initiates things. Then I will know that it’s safe to show affection back.
They say the human touch is a necessity of life, just as much as breathing, eating and sleeping. Studies have shown that monkeys that are deprived of touch and affection die. If I can’t breathe, I go outside to get more air; if I’m hungry, I eat something; if I am tired, I sleep. Why, then, is it so hard to give and receive the affection that I need to survive?
So let me know if you want me to show you some affection. As GI Joe says: “And knowing is half the battle.”
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